Fear of being watched

who you think you are

the saint..pooh

then why are you so afraid?

of being under the lime light

everyone does that

so I try to convince myself

but in vain

the constant fear of being under watch

nags me and eggs me...

what the hell

Should have been in some place 

with more freedom

of expression without hypocrisy

Or am I the one 

Who thinks these nonsense

Am I the one hallucinating

I wonder what

Is wrong with me

Is it untimeliness

or being in the wrong place

in the wrong time

Or is it my shyness

which hinders me

dont know what will happen

the next day 

dont know whether I can wait

until the time comes

tranquility is what 

I need now most

cant let one thing 

control my whole life

University

Hmm...finally entered the university. Now it's about three weeks since I got into this new life style. If I go into detail what is my daily routine these days, first I get up about 6 a.m. Oh! forgot to mention the university being in the walking distance made my life a lot easier. So after finishing my toilet habits which includes bathing every day, I get into some handy clothes. This is because the medical students have to strictly adhere to the dress code.

University life is actually wonderful. New friends, a sense of freedom which was not there in our schooling life, and some new identity as a medical student add some sort of self indulgence. As I am from a boys school getting to know girls and mixing with them was also a new experience, and I am getting the maximum use from that.

Getting into the university has not changed my thought process yet, at least not drastically. But I want to change the way I think and my perceptions. I think getting the initiative in university is more that ideal. But I have no hard etched plans. I mean to be more flexible. for an example I decided to get more involved in some sport and made my way into swimming. That I think is a positive step.

I know that troubles will be there waiting for me. But as I am expecting them I think it gives me a head start. Don't know what's in the store for me. But what can we do except, hope for the best.

But these days I feel the freedom of achievement. And I am determined to taste every bit of that.

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